The D word...

Here's one folks don't bring up over coffee. Post Partum Depression. It's so common, too! That's the thing that baffles me the most. I know so many women go on after pregnancy and don't even know they are carrying such a heavy burden around with them. Instead they just feel like they're inadequate or like they're failing as a parent. I understand this, because I had Post Partum Depression. 

Around 4 months, I felt like a shadow of myself. I was pale and exhausted, I hardly ate and crying had become a part of my daily routine. I was angry, impatient, guilty, and felt like I was drowning. Post partum depression is very real and very scary to experience. I felt completely out of control. After sharing my experiences with the gals from moms group and hearing their words of encouragement to please seek help, I saw my amazing OB and started taking medication. It helped me get out of the undertow that nearly pulled me down. I was finally afloat, but I still felt like I was treading water, I still just didn't feel whole. 

Fast forward six months and things are starting to get easier with the girls. They're crawling and becoming less needy, allowing me more time to nurture myself by doing things that made me feel like more than just a mommy. I began drawing again, and writing. Just creating, really. Ed (my fella) says you need to feed your soul, and I think that's what I'm doing. 

When you're in the thick of those first six months, you go into survival mode. Unfortunately, survival mode doesn't always cover basic care and needs for the new momma. As hard as it is, as badly as you want to prove that you can do it all...don't. Take all the help that's offered, and if none is offered, don't feel bad about asking for some. Most importantly, if you do feel less than yourself or are unusually blue...see someone. It won't make you less of a woman or mother if you do get diagnosed with PPD. It is totally treatable and you can be back to your old self in no time if you get help. Much love, mamas! Here's a big hug from me if you're in the middle of it right now.

This is an important photograph. This is the face of Post Partum Depression. I look happy, and sometimes I was. But usually I was too stressed out or overwhelmed to tend to my crying babies. It's important to know that, while outwardly, a person may seem happy and healthy, that does not mean they are. Be kind to other mommas, you never know who is fighting what battles.