The only non-Christian in the world

Why do I feel like I should be holding a white flag when I say that I am not religious? Obviously I'm not the only non-Christian in the world, what with non-religious people making up a third of the population, but it can certainly feel that way at times. My entire life, I've identified as Agnostic. No previous exposure to Church (with the exception of a few youth group and Sunday Mass attendings with a friend) or religious practice. I haven't been "saved", in the traditional sense. It's not for lack of effort on my saved friends' parts, I grew up having majority of my friends practicing a wide range of religions; there were certainly opportunities to jump on the wagon! However, I'm not one to be swayed easily by others. A do it yourself, figure it out on my own kind of gal, I suppose. I've also been on the receiving end of swift judgement by my religious peers. So my experiences with Religion were those from a mixed bag. No major traumatic experiences that deterred me from finding my faith. Oh I have faith, in a great many things. I feel more comfortable identifying as a Spiritual woman these days, however, as opposed to Agnostic. Now I will boldly go where I am terrified to go and share with my peers what my 'idea' of Spirituality is.

My interpretation of God, if for a moment we can pretend that God is up for interpreting, is that He is each individuals soul at it's most pure state. A way I've broken it down is that from the moment of birth we will be effected by our surroundings in a way that will shape us into the people we're destined to become. Before we've been marred by the experiences of life, while we remain innocent children, that is the purest one will ever be in their entire life. Every day you live on this earth, the less pure you will become. It's inevitable. I believe that our goal in life is to live as closely as we can to that version of ourselves in our purest state, or from a Religious stand point, to live life as closely to God as possible. I'm not saying I'm going to play in the dirt and be childlike, but children see the world as it truly is. They have no assumptions or preconceived ideas. They only trust, love, learn from and accept the world and the people in it for what they really are. So to paraphrase all of that, I believe that God resides within all of us, in a sense that God represents our souls. Our souls which fill our hearts with morality. The soul that whispers in your ear to do no harm unto others. There's no need for books explaining what morality is and what's right and wrong. We know, the will to be good lives inside all of us. But we stray from our path as we get older and as we encounter certain people and experiences.

Now for the provocative part. I feel that putting God in our souls forces us to take accountability for our actions; the good and the bad. I don't pray to God to make me stronger, make me better, make me happier. I look inside myself for the strength, for the knowledge, for the love. We all carry it with us, the only difference is that some people call it God, and I call it my soul. 

In many ways I feel like I could potentially identify as a Christian, but I simply don't support everything presented. I follow Buddhism and even some Taoism as well. Why not just pick one and be happy like everyone else? Life is not always so simple. I live in a world of varying shades and hues of grey, where I can see how everything is interconnected. Even different Religions. At the end of the day, the core values remain the same, even to those who do not have a God. We all need saving, from ourselves and the world, at times. We only need to look into our souls to find the strength to save ourselves and to save each other. Compassion, that's what the world needs. That's what I try to put into it. This is not a sales pitch, this is merely a proclamation of love for my new found Faith. It may be different from yours, but are we really that different? 

I could probably go on for a while about my Spirituality and where I found my Faith lies, but for now this addresses the core values. My hope is to raise my girls to be similarly independent and confident in their own Faith, be it a Religious Faith or not. When they start to ask questions (which I hope they will) I will gladly provide the facts and allow them to draw their own conclusions. Religion and, similarly, Politics are incredibly personal for each individual. The less convoluted with personal opinions the information provided is, the easier it will be for them to find their own Faith and beliefs. What it all boils down to is this: I know I'll have raised my girls to be good, to always seek the truth over all else, and that introspection and thoughtfulness makes for a better person and a better world. I think most of us can agree on that much at least!