Serendipitus Wisdom: Part 1

Back in the day, when the girls were still newborns and I was a hot mess that just couldn't even, I made a decision to join my birthing hospitals new mom's group. It was probably the smartest decision I made as a new mama. Now my girls are a week away from their half birthday, a year and a half! As we were hanging out upstairs this morning, me filling out my recipe book while letting the girls empty the contents of some miscellaneous bag that was shoved under my bed, Jo handed me a few paper products she had found. I took them graciously and thanked her for her thoughtfulness. When I looked at what I was handed, a pamphlet I received while in new mom's group, I felt a warm wave of nostalgia that urged me to flip through its pages and relive those first 6 months again. The words still ring true a year later, and I just can't keep them to myself with all the new mama's in my life. So allow me to share with you the wisdom of those who went before me! 

Dear Tired and Weepy Self

You are only a few months into the throes of motherhood and I am here to give you words of encouragement. Please know that these words are not coming from a place of pity. I can see how exhausted you are and how defeated you might feel. I can see that you have not managed to shower in four days....or is it seven?

I wish to impart these words to you so when you hit the emotional pit in which you feel that life has been marginalized to changing diapers, sore nipples, and pangs of horizontal moments, you can feel my resounding voice as I proclaim from highest of highest mountains... How awesome you are! Can you please digest that into your weary bones?

You have (almost) single-handedly created and birthed this perfect little being and in other circumstances you would have been showered with accomplishments and acclaim. But you get to glory in the humble solitude of your home as you gaze admirably at that adorable dimple perfectly at the center of that adorable chin.
Dear mama… It is OK to admit deep sadness, or a sense of loss for who you once were. You may ache for the woman who could draw the eyes of strangers and leave droplets of pheromones in her path. I'm here to remove the guilt before it can plant it's insidious seed. To tell you that it's OK to have moments in which you intensely, intensely want to purge motherhood. And yes, you will be sweetly brought to your knees.

I have a secret. There are no heroes in motherhood and although every other mother you walk by looks like she has it together, I am here to tell you that at one point or another, she has had her breaking point. And that even my perfect neighbor who seems like the perfect mother to two perfect little girls once divulged, "I cope by closing my bathroom door, running the water loudly and proceeding to scream."

In a twisted way, I smiled. So, please remember, beneath the nursing bra, the baggy clothes, and the incessant mental fog, there is a woman who had the courage, wisdom, and the ultimate abandon to begin this journey. Do not forsake her, do not doubt her, do not punish her. She is only human, and in her own way, in her own time, she will eventually find her stride and rhythm. And when you stare in awe at that perfect dimple on that perfectly formed chin, know that deep within you and for thousands of miles around, you are now part of a grand collective, a sisterhood who shares your story, who feels your pain, and yet above all, knows a love like none before. Welcome. 

-Jeannette D'antonio