I am no Superman...

I'm sitting on my couch listening to my Uptown Funk Pandora station while the girls take a nap. Same dress I've worn for the last three days. Bags under my sleepy eyes, dirty hair, empty growling belly, but all I can stand to do at the moment is sit. I must have some sick kiddos in the house! I've been incredibly fortunate to have two healthy babies, and that at 15 months, this is the first real illness that's struck our home. This is what being a parent is about. 

I drew this conclusion on night two of our girls being sick, as Ed expressed how challenging this has been being able to do so little to ease their discomfort. "I can't wait for this all to be over". Then it struck me; This is only the beginning. This is the first of many experiences where our girls will be hurt and the only solace we'll be able to give them will be our unconditional love. One day they'll have their heart broken, and all I'll be able to do is give them a hug and tell them how much I love them. Or they'll try something new and fail, maybe miserably. I'll always be here to pick them up, but I know now that I must prepare myself for that not to be enough for them. 

This is a hard pill to swallow. We never want to see our children suffer, no matter how old they are. But the truth is, the world will knock anyone on their ass from time to time, our children being no exception. I'm fully aware of this, acutely even. Knowing that your children will get hurt or sick sometimes in life, and that there's little you can do about it, can paralyze you to the point where you want to protect them from these things. But it's just part of life. You take lessons from the mistakes you make, you draw strength from the things that make you feel weak. We walk away from every experience in our life with two choices: the choice to dwell on the negatives, or the choice to grow from them. 

It will no doubt be difficult any subsequent time I'm pitted against a situation where I can't save the day with a hug and a kiss, but that doesn't mean I'll ever give up trying to be everything they need. I feel like I have a whole new level of understanding on parenting, and an entirely new level of respect for all the wonderful mothers (and fathers) in my life. I just hope that I'm continually able to find the strength for my girls when they have none. I love them to pieces, and I don't think they'll ever know just how precious they are to me.