Dear friends...

I miss you. My life has changed enormously since having kids, yes. But it's changed for the better, and I can't say I'm sorry that I never call you to grab a day drink or for a night of karaoke and frivolity. To say I'm sorry would mean that I feel guilt for my choice to have babies, and I'm just not sorry. 

I do wish there was a way to stay in touch that didn't feel so exhausting or difficult. The thing is, we're "adults" now....whatever that means. We have financial obligations and have to chose between a night on the town or that new living room set we've been wanting....we can't sit on bean bags forever....we have children, or jobs, or are currently working our way through Grad School. We are busy people! So let's not bare resentment for falling out of touch over the course of this crazy journey into adulthood. It's nobodies fault. 

As Saturn makes it's way back to where it all began for me, and retrograde wreaks havoc on my life like a bull in a china shop, I'm learning that life happens. I used to think I HAD to try and keep involved in everyone's lives after the girls came. You see so many blog posts and Huffpost articles articulating how your friends suck after they have kids. They stop calling, and obsessively post pictures of their new kid(s). I didn't want to be that person. But those articles are horse shit. People grow up, lives evolve and change. I'm no more obligated to stay in touch than my counterparts are. So I'm giving myself, and hopefully other moms, permission to stop feeling bad for any friendships that have ceased to exist. You're not wrong for the choices you've made, your friends are just at a different point in their life journey. They don't get it, but it's not their fault. Just like it's not your fault. 

I've been having a lot of big thoughts on life lately. Again, I can probably attribute these thoughts to my Saturn Return. I'll be 29 in November, so you'll most likely hear a lot of "deep thoughts" between now and then as I sort through it all. So if you aren't a fan of that hippy-dippy stuff, sorry not sorry.